Part of the challenge, and part of the fun, was to say things without actually saying them.  I wanted to get the point across without being graphic.  Graphic isn't usually that funny; it's just shocking.  I challenged myself to write a book, which would naturally have sex in it ,without ever dropping an "F-bomb."  I'm happy to say, I made it.


Richard likes to rant about things.  Although he has a one-track mind, he nevertheless has opinions on everything:  Betty and Veronica, bourbon, and even fondue sets.  He has a respect for the French.  And he's versed in the works of Shakespeare.  While he identifies most with Richard III, there are times when he behaves more like Iago.

Given the recent news that Archie has proposed to Veronica, at long last, Richard must be quite put out that his observations about the cartoon triangle went unheeded.  He insists that Betty would be better in bed.  Poor girls, he observes, must try harder.

This is, as far as anyone knows, the first book ever written by a penis, if you don't count those by Rush Limbaugh.  (If you're a Republican, you can insert Al Franken's name.  I don't care; I'm just in it for the laugh.)

The most surprising thing is how much more book it became during the writing.  I initially imagined it would be about 175 pages of cheeky jokes about the relationship between the genders.  It ended up being more nostalgic and touching, and much funnier, than I had imagined.  Who knew a penis could be so profound?